Mocha Mr. Clean's The Dirty Truth

November 9, 2010

Dudleys Do Right!

Filed under: Pro Wrestling — mochamrclean @ 8:13 am

(TNA Wrestling)

Whether you prefer to call them Team 3-D or The Dudleys or The Dudley Boyz, you have to respect Bubba Ray and D-Von for all their accomplishments and recognize them as one of the greatest tag teams of all time.

Oftentimes, when anyone – in any field – retires, folks tend to wax nostalgic and play the revisionist history game. They distort the truth a bit, have selective memories and pump up the retired honorees’ accomplishments. And now that Team 3-D has officially retired (or, at the very least, they’ve walked away from a Total Nonstop Action wrestling ring – let’s hope retirement’s for real), there will be plenty of debate over their place in sport of the king of kings. Are their 23 titles truly impressive, given that they also lost these championships nearly two dozen times and that they thrived in an era that, for the most part de-emphasized tag team wrestling? How do they stack up next to The Road Warriors, The British Bulldogs, The Midnight Express, The Hart Foundation, et al?

Here’s The Dirty Truth: The 23 titles are not what made The Dudleys great. And they really were not all that innovative. (Unique, yes, but not really that innovative.) They did not really change pro wrestling but did something just as important. They proudly carried on the tradition of their tag team forefathers. They reminded everyone of the path that teams like Hawk & Animal, The Wild Samoans, The Valiants and the list goes on paved for them, even as the pre-eminent wrestling organization in the world, WWE, continued to take a big fat dump on tag teams year after year.

WWE has not cared about tag team wrestling for about the last decade. What’s that you say? DX? Sorry, my hero – the real DX was a faction and I guess Triple H and HBK can technically be considered a tag team. But Hunter and Shawn Michaels were not really a tandem. As DX they were really two individuals who were more concerned with hijinx and havoc than tag team artistry and championships.

Let’s look at some facts about modern day WWE and tag teams. Sure, the Attitude Era classics that featured Edge & Christian, The Dudleys and The Hardy Boys were classics and revived tag team wrestling in WWE. But that was a long time ago. Sure they became “interested” again with the Unified Tag Team Titles, but look at what they’ve done with their tag teams.

WWE’s creative team tinkered with the formula of The Road Warriors and practically destroyed them. (Any wrestling fan who has watched more than 10 or 15 years will remember – with horror – how Droz, Sunny and puppet named Rocco were all part of the Legion of Doom at one point.)  They like to break up all the “real” legitimate tag teams. (I’m not talking about the ones that are thrown together for two or three months – ie. Big Show & Chris Jericho, Big Show & Miz, Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre.) Remember when WWE broke up The Dudleys and thought they could make them singles stars. (I bet D-Von still cringes when his “Reverend D-Von gimmick comes up.) Cryme Tyme, The Colons (Primo & Carlito), Miz & Morrison (okay, they were thrown-together tandem that actually became a team) are just a few examples of real teams that separated in recent years. For Miz & Morrison, it may have been time to break them up, but there was no good reason to break up Cryme Tyme and The Colons. And the individual careers of everyone in those two teams have faltered ever since.

That’s what makes the current storyline with young Hart Dynasty so discouraging. Barely six months after deciding to truly push David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd (with Natalya Neidhart) and giving them the tag team championships, WWE, it seems, have decided to break them up. They’ve teased a feud between Smith and Kidd for weeks now and it just further illustrates The Dirty Truth: WWE doesn’t give a rat’s ass about tag teams.

The Harts had a ready-made feud with The Uso Brothers that had a ready-made, layered storyline with four talented wrestlers (six, if you count Natalya and Tamia, the ladies accompanying both teams). These teams could have had classic matches and traded tag championship title wins for months. But WWE squashed the feud and storyline about as quickly as they started it and poured practically all its energy into The Nexus.

Unless Teddy Hart is somewhere waiting in the wings to emerge as D.H. Smith’s partner in a revamped Hart Dynasty, nothing good can come from this imminent breakup. It’s a heartbreaking situation (pun-intended) and Kidd and Smith will not thrive apart from each other at this stage of their careers.

Bubba Ray and D-Von knew they were much better off together than apart and they bucked the odds and system to stay together. They traveled all over the world, as far as Japan, to face the best teams. They were lucky to find a home in TNA, which still values the art of tag team wrestling and boasts some of the best teams today in The Motor City Machine Guns, Beer Money and Generation Me.

It’s not Team 3-D’s fault that the industry (or at least the WWE) de-emphasized tag teams. However, they managed to stay true to themselves and will train a future generation in some of the dying fundamentals and nuances in pro wrestling. That’s Bubba Ray and D-Von’s greatest legacy … and that’s The Dirty Truth. Testify!

~mmc

November 1, 2010

No More Koons in Politics … Please!

Filed under: Uncategorized — mochamrclean @ 8:04 am

While Jimmy McMillan’s 15 minutes of fame were mildly amusing (McMillan is the is the “candidate” for New York governor who represents the “Rent Is Too Damn High” Party) and complete with a talking doll manufactured in record time, enough is enough.

Stop the tomfoolery. Enough with the crap. No one believes McMillan is a serious candidate for anything and we should not give him any more air time. And tell me, does anyone – anyone – seriously believe that Alvin Greene, the Democratic challenger to Jim DeMint in South Carolina, has any chance whatsoever of taking that seat on this Tuesday’s midterm elections? Greene is so bad that he has become a punchline for both the Fox News Channel and Bill Maher. When will we see that happen again?

No one denies that these jokers have a right to run for public office. That’s part of what makes America great. But a line has to be drawn somewhere. We all know the difference between a serious candidate – a serious leader – and a joke.

Whether you agree with Barack Obama’s policies or not, he is a person of color with a legitimate agenda who must be taken seriously – and should be respected as the President of the United States. He is no Stepin Fetchit. If you can’t respect the man, at least respect the title and office. But yet, he is often lampooned – overtly and subconsciously – by so-called “legit” sites and news folks who worship certain clowns in politics only because they share ideologies. (You can infer whatever you want and make your own guesses about who these clowns are.) And sometimes Obama hasn’t helped his own cause by behaving like a clown himself.

 

And although the term “koon” is a distinctly African-American slur, there are some other non-black koons out there who are better off forgotten after Tuesday’s midterms.

Carl Paladino: A knuckledragging, hypocritical, homophobic thug
Frank Caprio: This R.I. gubernatorial candidate told Obama that he take his endorsement and “shove it” (NOTE: Obama never even gave Caprio his endorsement) and then backed off six days later, expressing regret. Hey Frank, how about you shove it, loser. Caprio – a loser yesterday, a loser today, a loser after Tuesday.
Kristin Davis: Former “Manhattan Madam” who appeared on the same stage as McMillan. Same deal – 15 minutes of fame was mildly amusing but let’s stop.
Harry Reid and Sharron Angle: Unemployed Nevadans are in a no-win situation with two, no matter what happens Tuesday

There are many other koons out there, but we have to end this somewhere. Remember this when you go out to vote on Tuesday: Our leaders should be better than us. They should represent the very best of us. No more koons – the stakes are too damn high! And that’s The Dirty Truth.
~mmc



October 31, 2010

Clean Off Your Slate … or Shut the ‘F’ Up!

Filed under: Pro Wrestling — mochamrclean @ 8:37 pm

“You can’t be afraid to take chances. … You can’t be afraid of the unknown.”

These wise words of advice come from perhaps soon-to-be former WWE Superstar Matt Hardy. Ol’ Matthew’s been all the buzz on all the pro wrestling chat rooms and sites recently with his compliments about TNA, comments about WWE not being the right place for him anymore and musings about the “next chapter” of his life.

Here’s the “Dirty Truth” about the Matt Hardy situation – Matt’s always been good at drawing attention to himself via social networking. He was on that bandwagon long before it had wheels. But if he wanted career advancement (ie. Become a singles World Champion), he really should have left WWE a long time ago. In fact, the argument can be made that he never should have returned after WWE fired him following that love triangle involving him, Edge and Lita.

Matt was never hotter than he was following his firing in wake of that real-life soap opera. Ring of Honor? TNA Wrestling? The marks and smarks were salivating, holding on to Matt’s every word, wondering where he would pop up and what he would say, as his online comments about his former best friend, the lady love of his life and the company that made him a star provided revolutionary, almost unheard of behind-the-scenes insight.

So what happened? Matt returned to WWE. And besides a few hot months of feuding with Edge and Lita (yes, WWE exploits any-and-everything – it’s smart business folks, even if not exactly ethical), he got absolutely nothing in the years that followed. Yes, Matthew enjoyed a few titles – the U.S., ECW and tag team titles, to be exact – but let’s face it, folks. Those titles mean nothing in the modern-day WWE. Unless you enjoy status of someone like The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Triple H and to an extent, John Cena – Superstars who don’t need to hold a belt – the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships are all that matter in Vince World. Everything else is an afterthought.

And that’s precisely what Matt became in WWE – an afterthought. A bitch. The fans loved him – arenas rocked whenever he made entrances – but that didn’t buy him the affection of the office. He took it lying down (literally) when Edge and Lita won the storyline/on-camera version of their feud and watched the Rated-R Superstar win world championships several times over. He watched his drug-addled, ungrateful younger brother get opportunities and waste them and get them again until he was ultimately rewarded for bad behavior with the WWE and World Championships.

 

 

Despite his comparatively well-behaved and what did he get? The bronze medal; sometimes a silver. But he was never considered “main event material” in WWE. In fact, in recent years, if you were young and needed a boost to the top, Matt was your stepping stone. Drew McIntyre and Zack Ziggler owe the older Hardy boy a lot of thanks.

So why did Matt stay with WWE? Maybe it was a sense of loyalty. But maybe he thought that TNA couldn’t make him a bigger star. TNA has never produced a star bigger than any WWE wrestler. What do I mean by this? AJ Styles is a home-grown TNA wrestler. He has held their world championship and is more talented than Matt Hardy. But he is not a bigger star.

Dear Matthew is still a young man in his mid-thirties with untapped potential. Let’s hope that he gets what he wants and is able to move on, even if it’s outside the pro wrestling ring. Sometimes it seems pro wrestlers get tunnel vision and just can’t walk away. (See Ric Flair and Mick Foley. I love those guys, but they have long-overstayed their welcome. Go A-WAY and enjoy your lives.)

It’s time for Matt to have a clean slate. But if he doesn’t take a chance and returns to his “comfort zone” in WWE, then he needs to shut the fuck up. And that’s “The Dirty Truth.”

– Mmc (Mocha Mr. Clean)

October 26, 2010

Shame on You, NPR!

Filed under: Current Events,Media — mochamrclean @ 1:02 am

No matter what your political beliefs are – whether you go left or right, Fox News Channel or MSNBC/CNN – everyone should be outraged by National Public Radio’s firing of longtime analyst Juan Williams.

NPR fired Williams for comments he made on “The O’Reilly Factor,” where he had been a frequent contributor. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for Williams, he was a lot more honest about his feelings about Muslims in traditional garb in a post-9/11 world than most folks dare to admit. He confessed that he gets nervous whenever he sees Muslims in traditional attire on a plane.

Williams, to his credit, was open with The Dirty Truth about his feelings. Most people are too ashamed or PC to admit the fears and prejudices they have. Williams never said he was proud of it; he never demanded that anyone subscribe to his feelings. He was being honest – and giving his opinion, which is what analysts mostly do.

What happens? About 36 hours later, NPR gives Williams the axe, without so much as giving him the courtesy – the decency – of a face-to-face meeting with the corporate honcho that wanted his head.

Listen folks, NPR was long aware that Williams was a frequent face on Fox News Channel. It’s not like he could hide it. Besides, wouldn’t they have to give their blessing to that type of thing? It’s also well-known within news industry circles that NPR didn’t really like what Williams had to say on FNC. He didn’t say the things they thought he should say.

But to fire a man for giving his honest opinion – which is what he was supposed to do as an analyst – that is an absolute disgrace. When Bill O’Reilly, Whoopi Goldberg and MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough all fall under the same tent of agreement and defend the same person, you know someone’s been done wrong. And Williams, often an eloquent voice of careful thought and reason and honesty on Fox, was done wrong. That’s The Dirty Truth.

~mmc

October 15, 2010

A Different View on the O’Reilly-Joy-Whoopi Spin Machine

Filed under: Current Events,Media — mochamrclean @ 10:23 pm

Mocha Mr. Clean knows a lot about things that are brown and quite frankly, stink. And this hullabaloo involving Bill “No-Spin (Wink-wink)” O’Reilly and the wenches from The View stinks.

If you missed seeing the clip, watch the video below. O’Reilly got into it with View co-hosts Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg over the Ground Zero mosque controversy, prompting them both to storm off when he said, “Muslims killed us on 9/11.”

Watch the O’Reilly Skirmish on “The View”

Ok folks, it is a fact that the folks responsible for 9/11 are Muslim. But it is important – vital – to point out that they were extremists, the worst of the very worst. We cannot condemn an entire religion for the acts of a few.

But here’s The Dirty Truth about the O’Reilly-View dustup. It had nothing to do with 9/11, mosques, Muslims or extremists. It had nothing to do with perceived hate speech.

You see, Billy Boy has a new book to sell, Pinheads and Patriots: Where You Stand in the Age of Obama. That’s why he was on The View to begin with. And does it surprise you that the Fox News Channel machine wasted absolutely no time capitalizing on the fracas, cranking out those promo commercials faster than Lindsay Lohan crack binge.

O’Reilly could hardly hide his shit-eating grin as Whoopi and Joy waddled off the stage. He knew he had just mapped out half his show for that night and would milk that brouhaha with a week’s worth of segments. (How soon will that B.S. body language expert show up on The Factor, “analyzing” the encounter?) He also could probably hear the cash registers ringing as his book flew off the shelves.

Hell, even Joy got a little joy from the spectacle, as Bill paid a visit to her own show on CNN’s Headline News. And The View reminded people early in the new season why it’s must-see TV for so many.

So, you see, everybody got a little something out of The View fracas – except those who thought the players involved were fighting any kind of “good fight.” Don’t be a pinhead, folks. Bill, Joy, Whoopi, Barbara – phonies, all of them, playing their roles to perfection. And that’s The Dirty Truth.

~MMC

Mocha Mr. Clean knows a lot about things that are brown and quite frankly, stink. And this hullabaloo involving Bill “No-Spin (Wink-wink)” O’Reilly and the wenches from The View stinks.

If you missed seeing the clip, watch the video below. O’Reilly got into it with View co-hosts Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg over the Ground Zero mosque controversy, prompting them both to storm off when he said, “Muslims killed us on 9/11.”

Ok folks, it is a fact that the folks responsible for 9/11 are Muslim. But it is important – vital – to point out that they were extremists, the worst of the very worst. We cannot condemn an entire religion for the acts of a few.

But here’s The Dirty Truth about the O’Reilly-View dustup. It had nothing to do with 9/11, mosques, Muslims or extremists. It had nothing to do with perceived hate speech.

You see, Billy Boy has a new book to sell, Pinheads and Patriots: Where You Stand in the Age of Obama. That’s why he was on The View to begin with. And does it surprise you that the Fox News Channel machine wasted absolutely no time capitalizing on the fracas, cranking out those promo commercials faster than Lindsay Lohan crack binge.

O’Reilly could hardly hide his shit-eating grin as Whoopi and Joy waddled off the stage. He knew he had just mapped out half his show for that night and would milk that brouhaha with a week’s worth of segments. (How soon will that B.S. body language expert show up on The Factor, “analyzing” the encounter?) He also could probably hear the cash registers ringing as his book flew off the shelves.

Hell, even Joy got a little joy from the spectacle, as Bill paid a visit to her own show on CNN’s Headline News. And The View reminded people early in the new season why it’s must-see TV for so many.

So, you see, everybody got a little something out of The View fracas – except those who thought the players involved were fighting any kind of “good fight.” Don’t be a pinhead, folks. Bill, Joy, Whoopi, Barbara – phonies, all of them, playing their roles to perfection. And that’s The Dirty Truth.

March 22, 2010

Some Good News for a Change …

Filed under: Current Events — mochamrclean @ 2:11 pm

The headlines shouldn’t always be about gloom and doom – even though that’s what folks/haters seem to revel in. Check out this story from the Chicago Tribune … Why aren’t there more stories like this in the news? Because it doesn’t whip up the haters out there and it’s a $$$- maker … and that’s The Dirty Truth!:

Charter School in Tough Neighborhood Gets All Its Seniors Into College

The entire senior class at Chicago’s only public all-male, all-African-American high school has been accepted to four-year colleges. At last count, the 107 seniors had earned spots at 72 schools across the nation.

Mayor Richard Daley and Chicago Public Schools chief Ron Huberman surprised students at an all-school assembly at Urban Prep Academy for Young Men in Englewood this morning to congratulate them. It’s the first graduating class at Urban Prep since it opened its doors in 2006.

Huberman applauded the seniors for making CPS shine.

“All of you in the senior class have shown that what matters is perseverance, what matters is focus, what matters is having a dream and following that dream,” Huberman said.

The school enforces a strict uniform of black blazers, khaki pants and red ties — with one exception. After a student receives the news he was accepted into college, he swaps his red tie for a red and gold one at an assembly.

The last 13 students received their college ties today, to thunderous applause.

Ask Rayvaughn Hines what college he was accepted to and he’ll answer with a question.

“Do you want me to name them all?”

For the 18-year-old from Back of the Yards, college was merely a concept–never a goal–growing up. Even within the last three years, he questioned if school, let alone college, was for him. Now, the senior is headed to the prestigious Morehouse College in Atlanta, Ga. next fall.

Hines remembers the moment he put on his red and gold tie.

“I wanted to take my time because I was just so proud of myself,” he said. “I wanted everyone to see me put it on.”

The achievement might not merit a mayoral visit at one of the city’s elite, selective enrollment high schools. But Urban Prep, a charter school that enrolls using a lottery in one of the city’s more troubled neighborhoods, faced difficult odds. Only 4 percent of this year’s senior class read at grade level as freshmen, according to Tim King, the school’s CEO.

“I never had a doubt that we would achieve this goal,” King said. “Every single person we hired knew from the day one that this is what we do: We get our kids into college.”

College is omnipresent at the school. Before the students begin their freshman year, they take a field trip to Northwestern University. Every student is assigned a college counselor the day he steps foot in the school.

The school offers an extended day–170,000 more minutes over four years compared to its counterparts across the city–and more than double the number of English credits usually needed to graduate.

Even the school’s voicemail has a student declaring “I am college bound” before it asks callers to dial an extension.

Normally, it takes senior Jerry Hinds two buses and 45 minutes to get home from school. On Dec. 11, the day University of Illinois at Champaign- Urbana was to post his admission decisions online at 5 p.m., he asked a friend to drive him home.

He went into his bedroom, told his well-wishing mother this was something he had to do alone, closed the door and logged in.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” he remembers screaming. His mother, who didn’t dare stray far, burst in and began crying.

That night he made more than 30 phone calls, at times shouting “I got in” on his cell phone and home phone at the same time.

“We’re breaking barriers,” he said. “And that feels great.”

March 16, 2010

Headlocks and Health Care

Filed under: Politics,Pro Wrestling — mochamrclean @ 5:10 pm

Just like I’ve suspected all along … there is no real difference between politics and professional wrestling (except for perhaps one thing:  pro wrestlers don’t really hide who they are).

Still, I’d love to see Jake “The Snake” Roberts DDT some of these jokers in Washington, and that’s The Dirty Truth!

~mmc

March 15, 2010

A Piece of Advice to a Bastard for Handling Creeps

Filed under: Current Events,Politics,Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 9:19 pm

Creeps. We see them in our lives every day. On the train to work. In the workplace. Sometimes they’re our bosses; sometimes we’re related to them. Sometimes we sleep with them.

In recent days, our headlines have been inundated with them. Last week, we had “Tickle Me” Eric Massa. (Let’s face it – some conservatives in the GOP were ready to adopt him as their next poster boy – the Democrat shunned because of his opposition to the health care reform bill – until not even Glenn Beck could stand what an absolute, skeevy, slimy creep he was. Now, nobody wants him.)

And this week? We opened with John Edwards and his paramour, Rielle Hunter – now that’s really creepy. Edwards punched his express ticket to straight to the Scumbag Hall of Fame when he cheated on his cancer-stricken wife, Elizabeth. (Don’t you see the warmth and love in the picture below?)

But the photos Rielle took for GQ – with lovechild in tow – ick, ick, ick … And yet, somehow this bleached-out New Age dipsy-doodle  is upset and crying her eyes out about the photo shoot. Huh? So, it’s respected photographer Mark Seliger’s fault that you look “repulsive” in your photos? Honey, it’s time someone told you The Dirty Truth and forced you to look seriously in the mirror.

Rielle and “Johnny” – these two sleazoids deserve each other. I’d say someone should drive them off a cliff, but that would deprive Frances Quinn of her, ahem, parents.

However, it would also deprive the Edwards bastard baby of revenge. Frances Quinn, if you learn no other piece of Dirty Truth in this life, take this to heart: Revenge is a dish best served cold. One day, when you are about 5 or 6 , you should kick both your daddy and your momma in the shins, just for the hell of it. You will get punished, but at least you’ll feel better.

Then, when your parents are old and decrepit and hobbling around in walkers and canes, kick their walking sticks right out from under them. Let them fall right on their dentures.

We can’t help our parents, folks. But if they’re creepy dirtybags, you can always send them a message.

Still, there are good kinds of creeps. For example, there’s the kind practiced by Radiohead.

Or maybe you prefer the Stone Temple Pilots:

But personally, the lovely ladies below are my favorite kind of creeps (miss ya, “Left Eye”):

~mmc

March 11, 2010

A Life Lived Hard … and Hardly Lived

Filed under: Current Events,Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 3:22 pm

Let’s face it – it’s tragic when anyone, even an ’80s child star burnout like Corey Haim, dies at age 38.

It’s just not natural for anyone to die that young. And it’s sure not natural for a parent – like Haim’s cancer-stricken mother – to have to bury their child. Most parents expect to experience the joy of bringing a life into the world; they never expect to watch that life die. They never expect to bury their own children.  It’s against the laws of nature. Children grow up and bury their parents. At least, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Haim was troubled for a long time. It’s easy to say that he was just another child star who went bad – and that is the truth – but we all know it’s probably a lot more complicated than that. Just look at his face towards the end of his life. Yes, we all get worn down by time. But in Haim’s case, you could practically see the tiretracks of his hard-living, drug-addled life all over his face. Dark shadows covered his once-bright eyes. What was once vibrant and energetic was bloated and depleted.

Corey Haim couldn’t get past his early stardom and fall. And for much of his life, he couldn’t find his own self-worth. You can’t stay stuck in the past folks. Because, like anything, it can eat you alive, from inside out. And unfortunately, that’s The Dirty Truth.

~mmc

March 10, 2010

The Mocha Grumpy Test of the Week

Filed under: Uncategorized — mochamrclean @ 2:08 pm

Greetings, marks and smarks and everyone in between … take a look at the picture below (And special thanks to a good friend of mine, The Mighty-Mighty BC!).

If this doesn’t bring even just a slight smile on your face, you need to stop what you’re doing, stand up and take a chill (breathe).

For more about this picture, CLICK HERE.

‘Nuff said … and that’s The Dirty Truth!

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