Mocha Mr. Clean's The Dirty Truth

March 15, 2010

A Piece of Advice to a Bastard for Handling Creeps

Filed under: Current Events,Politics,Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 9:19 pm

Creeps. We see them in our lives every day. On the train to work. In the workplace. Sometimes they’re our bosses; sometimes we’re related to them. Sometimes we sleep with them.

In recent days, our headlines have been inundated with them. Last week, we had “Tickle Me” Eric Massa. (Let’s face it – some conservatives in the GOP were ready to adopt him as their next poster boy – the Democrat shunned because of his opposition to the health care reform bill – until not even Glenn Beck could stand what an absolute, skeevy, slimy creep he was. Now, nobody wants him.)

And this week? We opened with John Edwards and his paramour, Rielle Hunter – now that’s really creepy. Edwards punched his express ticket to straight to the Scumbag Hall of Fame when he cheated on his cancer-stricken wife, Elizabeth. (Don’t you see the warmth and love in the picture below?)

But the photos Rielle took for GQ – with lovechild in tow – ick, ick, ick … And yet, somehow this bleached-out New Age dipsy-doodle  is upset and crying her eyes out about the photo shoot. Huh? So, it’s respected photographer Mark Seliger’s fault that you look “repulsive” in your photos? Honey, it’s time someone told you The Dirty Truth and forced you to look seriously in the mirror.

Rielle and “Johnny” – these two sleazoids deserve each other. I’d say someone should drive them off a cliff, but that would deprive Frances Quinn of her, ahem, parents.

However, it would also deprive the Edwards bastard baby of revenge. Frances Quinn, if you learn no other piece of Dirty Truth in this life, take this to heart: Revenge is a dish best served cold. One day, when you are about 5 or 6 , you should kick both your daddy and your momma in the shins, just for the hell of it. You will get punished, but at least you’ll feel better.

Then, when your parents are old and decrepit and hobbling around in walkers and canes, kick their walking sticks right out from under them. Let them fall right on their dentures.

We can’t help our parents, folks. But if they’re creepy dirtybags, you can always send them a message.

Still, there are good kinds of creeps. For example, there’s the kind practiced by Radiohead.

Or maybe you prefer the Stone Temple Pilots:

But personally, the lovely ladies below are my favorite kind of creeps (miss ya, “Left Eye”):



March 11, 2010

A Life Lived Hard … and Hardly Lived

Filed under: Current Events,Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 3:22 pm

Let’s face it – it’s tragic when anyone, even an ’80s child star burnout like Corey Haim, dies at age 38.

It’s just not natural for anyone to die that young. And it’s sure not natural for a parent – like Haim’s cancer-stricken mother – to have to bury their child. Most parents expect to experience the joy of bringing a life into the world; they never expect to watch that life die. They never expect to bury their own children.  It’s against the laws of nature. Children grow up and bury their parents. At least, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Haim was troubled for a long time. It’s easy to say that he was just another child star who went bad – and that is the truth – but we all know it’s probably a lot more complicated than that. Just look at his face towards the end of his life. Yes, we all get worn down by time. But in Haim’s case, you could practically see the tiretracks of his hard-living, drug-addled life all over his face. Dark shadows covered his once-bright eyes. What was once vibrant and energetic was bloated and depleted.

Corey Haim couldn’t get past his early stardom and fall. And for much of his life, he couldn’t find his own self-worth. You can’t stay stuck in the past folks. Because, like anything, it can eat you alive, from inside out. And unfortunately, that’s The Dirty Truth.


March 3, 2010

Fighting the Power … Old School Style

Filed under: Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 7:21 am

If you’re in an old school (’90s style) frame of mind, here’s today’s offering:

Or if you’re not exactly the Public Enemy-type, you may prefer this forgotten group (there were only, like, 100 members):

No matter what color, creed or jam you prefer – no matter what challenge you face today –  fight the powers that be … even if that means killing them with a


September 5, 2008

Triumph the Insult Dog Rules!!!

Filed under: Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 9:08 pm

I love Triumph … seeing him at the Republican National Convention was priceless! No one – not even Greta Van Susteren and Newt Gingrich – escaped his wrath:

Like yours truly, Triumph tells The Dirty Truth!


September 2, 2008

The Shield’s Final Act

Filed under: Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 6:07 pm

For those of you who are fans of great TV, tonight’s return of FX’s The Shield for its seventh (and final season) brings a mixed bag of excitement and sadness. We’re happy that the show is back, but we know that tonight is its last season premiere.

Michael Chiklis’ Detective Vic Mackey is much more than the proverbial anti-hero. He’s really part hero-part villain who operates according to a flexible code that works only for him and most of the time, for those he holds most dear. Like most great actors who really take ownership over their characters, Chiklis is Mackey; you can’t see anybody else in that role.

Though Mackey has been The Shield’s heart and soul for six seasons, the gritty writing and nuanced characters have kept fans coming back for more and more. As Mackey has sunk deeper and deeper in the corruption, violence and crime that seems to pervade his station (and life), fans have wondered time and again, “Is this the end of Vic? Is this the time that he goes down, one way or another?”

Arguably, The Shield’s best season was its fifth, when Forest Whitaker had a recurring role as Lt. Jon Kavanaugh, who had an obsession with proving that Mackey was a dirty cop. Seeing these two foils together on the small screen was pure magic; Whitaker and Chiklis’ intensity keep you anchored in front of the TV.

But, as the old saying goes, “All good things must come to an end” – and the end starts tonight. At least Vic Mackey will still live on on SPIKE and DVD.


September 1, 2008

Counting Down to the Return of Metallica

Filed under: Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 5:33 pm

For those of us who wondered when/if they’d be back, Metallica returns Sept. 12 with the first studio album of new material in five years, Death Magnetic.

It’s hard to believe these guys have been around 26 years. Their early stuff up until 1991’s Metallica (aka The Black Album) are modern-day classics; everything after that is somewhat up for debate.

Some of their hardcore fans, who may be still grieving over the day the band members cut their hair, argue they haven’t really been any good since The Black Album. And let’s face it, their legal battle with Napster a few years ago and the documentary, Some Kind of Monster (which showed them at the rich, decadent worst) didn’t really help them.

James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Lars Ulrich with composer Michael Kamen and former bassist Jason Newsted

James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Lars Ulrich with composer Michael Kamen and former bassist Jason Newsted

But hey, the boys of Metallica may be older and approaching 50, but I think there’s a good chance that Death Magnetic will show they are far from washed-up. Until September 12, here’s a taste of classic Metallica for those who are feeling a tinge nostalgic – and perhaps a little old – like yours truly:

And here’s also a taste of of what they can do with a live orchestra, for those who still think they went, perhaps, permanently “soft” a long time ago:

I don’t know about you, but a band that can still rock and tear up a stage with a live orchestra (as in operatic orchestra) is pretty badass to me, even if their wealth has left them less hungry.


August 30, 2008

Flashback: Motown 25 …

Filed under: Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 10:29 pm

It’s scary to think that there are kids today who only know Michael Jackson as the pasty-skinned “Wacko Jacko” who was accused of (yet acquitted) of child molestation … a tabloid headline favorite.

But there was a time when he was beloved from coast-to-coast. Some of us remember the time he did the moonwalkfor the first time during a performance during Motown’s 25th anniversary TV special. Remember the buzz it generated the following day?


August 29, 2008

Happy Birthday, Michael Jackson …

Filed under: Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 10:53 pm

Can you believe this person …

Was once this person?

Sigh … seriously, there are those of us who remember when poor Michael was the toast of the nation. Folks were in awe of “The Gloved One” the way people today are amazed by Michael Phelps. Then, one day aliens abducted Michael Jackson and left us with “Wacko Jacko.”

Come back to us Michael … we miss you.


August 15, 2008

Good Will Battle Evil …

Filed under: Comic Books,Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 8:39 pm


The countdown is on! On September 22, Heroes – one of my favorite show and one of the finest, if not finest series of its kind – returns to the air. The Hollywood writers strike put a lot of speed bumps in the second season, but at least fans can catch up on and review Season 2 of Heroes when the DVD set comes out on August 26.

Why should everyone love Heroes? Because it mixes sophisticated storytelling with fantasy. It doesn’t insult anyone’s intelligence. Even snobs who thumb their noses at graphic novels and superhero movies would find Heroes compelling. Just look at its theme for the third season:

“In every Hero, there could be a villain.”

Think about that. Turn that around and you could say, “In every Villain, there could be a hero.”

That’s some profound stuff, fellow marks and smarks. That doesn’t just apply to Heroes. That applies to the presidential election. That applies to both the people you believe in the most and ones you despise. That applies to life itself.

That theme is The Dirty Truth.


August 14, 2008

Resisting Rihanna? It’s Futile

Filed under: Pop Culture — mochamrclean @ 9:37 am

How can anybody resist Rihanna? Statuesque, caramel-skinned, with eyes that make you melt – and a CD that has been the gift that keeps on giving in Girl Girl Gone Bad.

She’s also the current queen of VH1 – there are times when it seems you won’t see her in less than three different videos (when VH1 plays music videos) in a 45-minute period. And somehow, Rihanna never seems stale.

Of course, this could all change. Rihanna could someday become as tiresome as Beyonce and Mariah. And let’s up she doesn’t become as loathsome as Paris, Lindsay and Britney (though Britney may have turned a corner). But for now, let’s enjoy waking up to Rihanna – it’s a beautiful way to begin an ugly day.


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